Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Car Repairs and Marraige Advice

I saw this on my dashboard the other day.


I got real scared. The check engine light isn't something anyone wants to see on their dashboard, but especially not us. We have just finished off paying the midwife and our funds are a little depleted. So, I pulled over and checked the gas cap. It was barely on. I tightened it, and last night the light went off.

I was both angry at Dan for not tightening it and relieved that all it was was the gas cap.

My mother is entering her third marriage, so she is not someone I go to for marital advice. However, there is this one nugget of wisdom that she has passed down that I find real helpful.

When making dinner, my father would chop the vegetables and my mother would cook the meal. I asked her, shortly after their divorce, if he was good at chopping vegetables. She told me it wasn't that he was good at it, she was just thankful that he did it.
My husband repeats this story back to me often, when he has helped with something, like filling the gas tank, but not done it quite up to standard. What does this have to do with living on a low budget? Well, as my mother also taught me, divorce is expensive.

Marriage can be anything from a deep friendship and lasting love story to mere co-habitation. Being thankful for the things your spouse does goes a long way, even if they don't always do things quite right.

For more tips, head to We Are THAT Family.

14 comments:

Florida Rachel said...

So true, Emily, so true. My sister is one of those people who just cannot let it go. She was married once, and has had several failed relationships. She is looking for perfection, and has not yet realized that it just does not exist. Thankfullness and praise can do so much. Every evening my husband says thank you for dinner and that it was delicious. Now I know that it is not always delicious, but he says it because he loves me. We don't eat out much, but when we do, I make a point of saying thank you for the dinner out when we get in the car to leave the restaurant. Does it really hurt to be kind?

Buffie said...

So true. My relationship with my husband is so much better when I let things go and just accept the help he offers instead of being upset that it wasn't done my way.

Anonymous said...

Query: Are you and your children receiving Medicaid? I have perused your budget, and I cannot figure out how you pay for health insurance on this income.

Nazim Khimani said...

The second I saw this it reminded me of Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I knew it would be great and it didn't let me down.

Emily said...

Anonymous, I just pubilshed a post about just that.

Nazim, I wonder if I subconsciously stole the title. Thanks, though.

Life is Good said...

A great thing to remember. I love it when my husband fills the gas tank for me. I know I have done it for years, and never thought I minded, but now when I have to do it myslef, I remember how nice it is that he usually always has it done for me.

Amanda said...

Thanks for the reminder. My 'thanks honey' moment comes whenever he helps load the dishes in the dishwasher. I must be anal about it, because I have a certain way that I know all the dishes will fit. I never fix the dishes after he puts them in - I just say Thanks honey! (Then later I change them) :)

Emily said...

Just an update, my dad read this post and he said that he actually IS good at chopping veggies.

stolenhalo1776 said...

I am sorry, and I don't mean to nitpick, but if you are planning to homeschool your children I hope that you plan on studying some things yourself first. I have seen you use adverbs for adjectives in several instances. I normally would not say anything, but it is important when you are going to homeschool that you know proper grammar yourself.

I had some great books that I used in college, but they are quite expensive. Your local library probably has plenty of grammar resources for you.

Emily said...

I would think my run-on sentences would bother a reader more, but we do have grammar text books.

stolenhalo1776 said...

Ah well your run on sentences (many of which actually are not technically run on sentences), add to flair and style. The inversion of adverbs and adjectives (real vs. really, specifically), speak towards a lack of education. In general, I actually really enjoy your writing style, though I think you are batty with your priorities at times :)

Emily said...

I know what adverbs and adjectives are. Adverbs modify verbs and adjectives(and one other thing, I forgot), and adjectives modify nouns. I think it was "especially" in this post that was misused. With homeschooling, I think that reading the classics are the best way to organically teach grammar. I went to public school, and although I took AP English, we didn't spend much time with the classics. I also went to Bible college, so we only studied one classic there. I'm catching up now as an adult, though, so rest assured!

Lyn said...

Wow, I think some of your readers need to get their own priorities straight in life instead of nitpicking other peoples' lives.

Emily, I think you again are doing wonderfully. That's the problem with most of America, too many spoiled people. It doesn't take much to be happy in life if one is grateful and really "gets" what is and isn't important.

Anonymous said...

I know this post is old, but your blog is interesting and I wanted to go back and read all the posts. I was going to comment on your constant misuse of the word "real" and saw someone got there first!

You do write pretty well, which is probably what makes the "real" stick out so much. Things are realLY cheap, you're realLY scared, etc.

And like the other commenter said, this isn't a realLY big deal, except that you are planning to homeschool. Though I suppose sounded educated is probably a worldview kind of thing. Since you like to compare yourself to third world standards, I'm willing to bet education isn't a realLY high priority for you.

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