Saturday, February 13, 2010

To My Valentine

This will be our experimental homemade Valentine's Day. We are going out to eat as well, with the kids, of course. So, this is what we did:

For Dan

I made Dan Star Trek pillows. One had the Borg cube and one had the Enterprise. I'm not too fond of the Borg cube one and am going try again for a bonus birthday present. (He loves them both, as he loves all things Star Trek.) The Enterprise one, though, we both loved.


For Emily

Dan is giving me a certificate of permission to completely consolidate and redesign his DVD and CD collection. Consider this the "before" picture. I have a neat idea of how I want to do it. For someone with little time to devote to homemade gifts, my husband is giving me just what I want!

Question: To those of you going out to eat, will you be going for lunch or dinner? Which would you think would be less crowded? Dan and I are still trying to decide.


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69 comments:

Bubblej said...

Your present was very cool. This is not meant to sound snarky, but Dan gave you permission to clean...That isn't a present that is housework. A present would have been HIM organising his stuff. But as long as you are happy. We don't do V day around my place, so its just business as usual.

Emily said...

BubbleJ, this is an area of the house that has been specifically for Dan that he is inviting me into. I've got a neat organizational idea for it and have convinced me him to let me do it for a present. I'm psyched!

Marcie said...

We are having a large brunch at home and then eating out around 3pm so we can avoid the crowds. My sister says it is a sign that we are turning into old people LOL, but I just hate waiting in crowds with small children. Like the pillow. Do you have a sewing machine or did you do it by hand?

marie said...

Lunch is usually a lot less busy; but I would be careful, since its also a Sunday, that showing up at noon might mean you are still on the breakfast or brunch menu at my places. As soon as it hits 2pm you would probably be fine and in a fairly quiet time of the day.

Marge said...

Ooh, cute pillow! I love sewing, that's a great gift.

And your husband is letting you clean. As a present to you! Good for him, what an awesome present. I only wish my husband were so kind!

Emily said...

Marcie, I have a sewing machine, but I sewed the pillow by hand. I haven't quite got the knack of the sewing machine, but I'm trying.

Marge, it's funny, yesterday everyone was telling me I was a bad wife, now people are saying my husband is a bad husband. It's funny, because we rather enjoy our marriage and how we do things, but I guess our ways are not for everyone.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Marie, around 2 or 3 would be best if you don't want to have to wait for a hour or two for a table. Have a late breakfast so you can have a late lunch, then have a light dinner at home. Starting at 4 the crowds will start up again. The pillow you made is great! My husband doesn't like when I "put away" his toys either, so I think it is wonderful that he is letting you have your way with his!I am cooking dinner for my hubby, and he is taking my car in for inspection (yes, we are such a romantic couple, but I am very happy that he is doing this for me). I bought my daughter and her best friend (aka my adopted daughter)toy story ring pops, they will love them! Have a very happy valentines day!
Toni

Amber said...

Do you guys ever do surprises between the two of you? What's the point of a gift if you know about it well in advance... it takes part of the essence of gift giving away. What ever happened to opening a card and finding a "permission to organize the dvds" certificate inside? I think the "gift" is obviously odd, but since you like it, that would have been a much more romantic way to do it.

As to the lunch vs dinner I'd definitely say lunch or right between lunch and dinner. We have AM and PM church on Sundays so if we were to go out it would have to be that time anyway. My husband has to work though so he'll get home while I'm at church in the morning and be asleep by the time I get home. I'll see him for a few minutes when he's getting ready for work though lol! So romantic... lol

Sheila said...

We went out for Valentine's last night. That way we were sure to avoid the V-day crowd. :) On a Sunday, I think both lunch and dinner are going to be crowded. Maybe have a late breakfast and go in the afternoon.

Amber said...

Toni,

Where did you find Toy Story ring pops?? My kids would go crazy over them lol! We have some Toy Story pez candy things for them for tomorrow :)

Melissa said...

The pillows are so nice... Very creative! I don't think Dan's gift to you is so bad. He is allowing you to completely overhaul his area and possesions! If you are happy that is all that matters. I can't wait to see the after pics. As for lunch I would definitely go around lunch time. There will be less crowds and more kid friendly. Where are you going out to eat if you don't mind me asking? We are thinking about either The Olive Garden or The Outback. We are also taking the kids so a fancier type of place is out of the question!lol

God Bless,
Melissa

Anonymous said...

Amber,
I found them at WalMart. They come in a 4 pack for $1.00. They were in with all of the valentines stuff :)

bewaretheundertoad said...

I would say lunch for sure. That's what my husband and I are doing; more for convenience really though, because I'm working in the morning in town and we live out in the middle of nowhere, so since we'll already be out, we figured why not take two tripsthere?--we did realize that this probably means we won't need a reservation, which is a plus (although truth be told, we'll probably end up someplace like Panera Bread where we wouldn't need one anyway.

Enjoy your V-day! I proposed that my DH and I do non-monetary gifts. I asked him to clean our downstairs bedroom (which is a mess!) and he asked me to do this journaling exercise that's supposed to strengthen our relationship (personally I think it's kind of silly and pointless, but I love him, so I'll do it.)

Rachel said...

We are going out for sushi tonight for our Valentine's Day romantic dinner. Tomorrow, we will do gifts (I picked out a pilates DVD for him to get me, and I got him a vintage football t-shirt - NY Titans preceeded the JETS). Tomorrow, I'll make a special dinner at home... lamb chops, roasted asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes.

Emily, I love your homemade ideas... I'm already working on a scrap book for our 5th anniversary, which is in June.

Lucy said...

What others think of the gift ftom Dan is immaterial. You like it! I think it shows how well he really knows you.

Amber said...

Rachel, can you please explain this concept of picking something out for yourself and your husband? Will you be putting thought and effort into the scrapbook and a present for yourself for your anniversary?

sunnymommy said...

We usually go to a little (cheap) Chinese restaraunt at around 4. Never anyone there! However, now my husband is a youth pastor and works all day on Sundays, so any holiday on a Sunday is pretty much out. I don't really care as we prefer to celebrate days that have special meaning to us such as our anniversary than commercially imposed ones such as V-day. We went out for dinner with the kids Thur at Old Chicago (and told them it was our family Valentines date) during happy hour (4-6) when they have half price appetizers and 4 piece pizzas for $2.99. We hardly ever go out to eat at any place we don't have a buy one get one free or other coupon that makes the total for our family of 4 less than $10. But, when we do the Old Chicago deal is our favorite! We got 3 pizzas and 2 appetizers and 2 drinks for $20. I and our 5 year old can't finish the pizzas so we even had lunch the next day out of it.

dust in the wind said...

Hey Emily, My thoughts on when to go out would be that, since it is a Sunday, both lunch and dinner time will be busy, but lunch time will have a more friendly atmosphere towards kids. Oh, and I just wanted to let you know that I had a BK milkshake the other night and thought about you!

Our Family Is His said...

Amber, the Toy Story ring pops are at my Walmart as well. Saw them yesterday. Same price at mentioned above $1.00.

We don't go out to eat with the kids anymore. We have a multitude of reasons, the two biggest being an impossibility to find food our younger son can eat with his allergies and their behavior due to their special needs, it annoys most people and we get sick of the stares and snide comments from people who refuse to mind their own business and allow for children who aren't 100% perfect.

BUT, I would say that in most restaurants lunch would be your best bet, especially if you can go a bit later than the normal lunch (say have a very light snack around 10:30am and then lunch at 2). You would probably have a near empty restaurant.

We are doing valentine's today because hubby has to work tomorrow night (so he sleeps right after we get home from church). We have some little candies and stuffed animals for the kids, cards that sing (that love those), and I will make fun food for our supper. We already have our Valentine's presents. Normally we don't give each other gifts, just cards. But this year we both needed something, so we got them for each other. I knew hubby needed wrench rolls, so I purchased him 4 from eBay (brand new at half the cost, I was stoked). I needed a new printer (mine is 100% unusuable anymore) for our homeschooling paperwork, worksheets, and so on, so he bought me a very nice one. I can't wait to set it up in our school room.

Anonymous said...

Emily,
there will always be people who look for the negative in every situation. You put this information out there, and people respond. Good and bad, negative and positive, it is the way of the world. I would advise you not to take things so personally.
I understand how organizing IS a present. My husband has clothes from 10 YEARS ago. I would love it if he would allow me to "organize" them (read: donate!).
Happy Valentine's Day!
~Nicole

Linda said...

I think your gifts are great! I am protective of my 'stuff' so I completely understand and his giving you permission to re-do is a great gift! Ignore those who think its 'cleaning' I get that it is organizing! Have fun. If you go on Sunday I think lunch and dinner will be crowded so agree mid afternoon is a good time.

Justine said...

We like to do lunch because it seems to be less expensive. Depending on the place, dinner can be too fancy for us. This year we are doing all homemade gifts as well. I made my husband a scarf, which is something he's been wanting for some time now. I also made pillows! I really like your Star Trek ones. I took old shirts and cut them into hearts and lined with lace. I didn't add cut outs on top, but that is a good idea.

Anonymous said...

Oh Sweetie I always choose off hours to eat out--it began when we had a little one and continues now that we're empty nesters. Pick the least harried time. And as far as Dan letting you deal with "his stuff," I get that too. You obviously love nesting and he's letting you enjoy that. Funny how people forget that every marriage, every family is unique. We do what works for US, not others. Enjoy your growing family & your day.
Mrs B.

Sandy said...

As much as I might disagree with some of your choices, I have to say, I really "get" the part where you are excited that your husband is letting you touch his stuff. My husband's office is so crammed with junk (at least I can close the door!) that it WOULD be a fun and exciting gift if he would let me organize his stuff.

I also love the star trek pillow! I don't have a sewing machine, but it never occurred to me to sew stuff by hand.

Christena said...

i agree, his gift is lame. and what's even worse is that you think it's just as good, or better than the actual gift you MADE him. you didn't just give him something, you took time and energy to make those pillows! he took .5 seconds to tell you that you have the privilege of cleaning his stuff. if my boy told me that my gift is to reorganize his bookshelf i would be pretty upset, especially if i took the time to hand sew something for him. you should demand an equal role in your relationship. it's clear that he doesn't value your time or energy as much as his. and what's worse, is that you agree with him! you have to value yourself before anyone will value you.

Tree Huggin Momma said...

You couldn't pay me to go out for a nice dinner with DH on valentines weekend. Or most any weekend for that matter. We do go out once or twice a year (birthday and anniversary dinner - but both times we go midweek or super early).
Everything from breakfast to dinner from Friday night to Sunday night will be crowded. Enjoy your dinner with the family.

Ronica said...

I love your blog! When we go out to eat, we always go to a very early dinner. We eat about 4:30 or 5:00. My husband laughs that we should get a senior citizen discount for eating so early (we are in our 30's) but we always get in and out and with kids that it really important. We usually rent a video afterwards and watch it once the kids go to bed. It is not very expensive since we don't have to pay a sitter.

I know you are an expert at saving money, but if you are interested my blog is http://www.keepingourcash.com

Thanks!
Ronica

Tree Huggin Momma said...

A gift isn't amount the amount of money one puts into it, or the gift itseld. That gift is about the thought. Dan knows that you want to organize his CD/DVDs and he's been reluctant (and I understand. When DH and first moved in together while he was away on a boys weekend I unpacked and "organized" all his comics. He had them chono and crossover order and I put them in strict numerical order, I spent 3 days doing it and when he came home he was so upset, not angry, just sad, because he knew I put alot of time into it, but he also knew he had put a lot of time into properly organizing it).
Your gift to Dan takes into account who he is and what would bring him joy. Dan's gift to you does the same thing.

nepamom said...

Emily,
I was on early this morning when you first posted this and typed out a long comment, but I got an error mesage so I guues it didn't go through...which was actually a good thing because in hindsight I vented WAY more than was appropriate.

Anyway, just so you know if any part of my comment today sounds less than happy, it's not intentional or directed toward you. I'm having one of those very bad, horrible, just short of I hate my life kind of days....basically I'm just not feeling very positive and if I take the time to explain any of my opinions on this post I'll likely go off on an even bigger tangent than I have already and I'm sure neither you or your other readers want that!

I think you did a great job with the pillows and it was a very sweet thing to do. I understand Dan's gift and why you are happy about it. I would say dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow (you didn't say which day you were going I don't think) will be the busiest times. I would shoot for lunch today, breakfast or late dinner tomorrow.

We no longer have plans. We are not exchanging gifts as far as I know. We are not exchanging words anymore today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

connie said...

we still occasionally exchange gifts, but I don't mind if we don't. We usually eat out for V Day but not on the actual day because we don't like to wait for a table.

I have complete reign over the organizing in my house, and I like it that way. I would LOVE IT if my husband would help out by organizing himself, but even if he did it, I would probably do it over to my liking. I have gotten rid of his stuff, old clothes, etc of his and usually do not tell him and he doesnt know until he asks. If there is an item that I think he might want to keep, I will ask him about it before I do it, but I will store/hide it wherever I want. I enjoy keeping my house the way that I WANT IT.

If organizing his CDs is what YOU want and he gave it to you, then it's a good gift.

stephanie said...

I agree with Sandy. I love to organize stuff, so that would be fun for me.

Considering this is the first time you two have done the handmade valentine thing, and Dan has a full-time job as well as school, I think he did good. Of course, he's not going to be able to put as much time into your gift as you did. He probably isn't as crafty and doesn't have a lot of free time. Your pillows are cute, you are both happy with your gifts, who cares what anyone else thinks?

Lauren H. said...

I suggest going out to dinner on Monday night (assuming Dan doesn't have to work or go to class). Or maybe go out tonight. Pretty much every restaurant will be busy tomorrow, no matter the time. My husband and me aren't even going to bother going out - we're opting for Monday night.

Anonymous said...

decluttering someone elses stuff (who soesn't like to give up clutter) is a treat. Hmmmm.ask me how I know ;)
I have been reading through your posts. I have no problem with your goals or anything else really. But as someone who spends half the year living on a houseboat I will tell you to have your eye on clutter now.
When your ultimate goal is to live in a small possibly portable space-you cannot own many possesions. If we lived on the houseboat full time it would mean each boy (we only have 3) would get one rubbermaid size bin for belongings. a minimum amount of clothing-and consumable media-like books-would have to be from the library and kept to a bin the size of a milk crate. As you continue along in your journey toward this goal-you will need to slowly adjust your material possesions toward this goal. It is so hard to do LOL! Living in a small space means you must have fewer than the american average of belongings. You seem to embrace many ideals that seem odd to americans but are just normal things in other countries. spend some time actually going to check out some of the small housing options that you like-seeing them in person will give you an idea of what I am talking about-when I say to minimize your earthly possesions.

Blessed said...

Your husband is placing some of his beloved material items into your hands, to let you style as you please, and is (I assume) ready to ve satisfied with whatever you do.

I think that is an awesome gift. I wish my husband would let me take on the bathroom for valentine's day. i have the plan, just not the permit. ; )

Christena said...

but it's like saying, "i know you like to cook, so i'm going to LET you cook for me tonight as a gift TO YOU." do you people not see how horrible that is? usually when you gift someone an action, like cleaning, cooking, or general labor, it's done so that the gift is for the person who DOESN'T have to do the action. ie i'm giving YOU a home cooked meal COOKED BY ME, THE GIFT GIVER, or i know you hate cleaning the stove so i will keep the stove clean for one month as a gift to YOU, but not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

We don't, as a rule, exchange gifts. We prefer to go on an outing or do something fun. Our plan for tomorrow is to go bowling in the afternoon with the kids and then come home and make dinner as a family. Perhaps we might rent a movie for the evening.

I admit that I would probably find a gift of permission to clean a tad unusual, but if you two are happy I think that is great. The world is more interesting place when we are a bit different. The pillow is great.

Monday is a holiday here in Ontario (Family Day) and we plan to go skating as a family and then go out for hot chocolate.

I am looking forward to our weekend.

Anonymous said...

I totally see where you are coming from with your gift from Dan. If my husband said I could organize his stuff I would be on cloud nine!

I'm a complete organizing freak and he is the complete opposite. His clutter drives me nuts, although I will have to say he keeps it contained to one area. Even though its a mess he says he knows exactly where everything is. I don't like it but I respect him enough to respect his stuff. When we were first married I decluttered his stuff and he was not happy. I couldn't understand why, being an organizing freak and all. He asked me how I would feel if he re-organized and/or got rid of some of my stuff. How would I feel? I then understood his point of view.

So.... Happy Valentines' Day to you!

SkippyMom said...

As a former waitress for 7 years during high school and college I can say, unequivocably, that lunch will be less crowded, but not by much because it is a Sunday.

And also? If you don't have a reservation by now you are probably out of luck. Unless you are going to Perkins or Denny's or Cracker Barrel and then you are in for a humongous wait.

Not trying to be a damper - but one of the first rules of Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and New Year's Eve, in the restaurant biz', is make your reservations very, very early [as in 3 weeks out if not before.]

Good luck and I hope you find a nice place to enjoy yourselves.

morethanamom2four said...

We're most likely not going anywhere. It is hard to go out with 4 kids, especially on a busy day. But here is an idea. Most restaurants do curb side pick up. You can order whatever is on the menu, go get it, and then eat it in your own house. You still don't have to cook and you get a nice meal. You can light some candles at the table or have a picnic on the floor. You can avoid the crowds and it will be more intimate and quiet.

SkippyMom said...

And just to add if you don't believe me about the reservations thing and how busy it is going to be for both lunch and dinner [and mid afternoon I might add] then please google "waiter blogs" or read any on my blogroll and you will see exactly what I mean.

I truly hope you have a nice day - but I think you might be eating in or pushing it to Monday.

Atheist Mama said...

A few months after dh and I moved in together he let me go through his boxes of crap and toss/donate a lot of stuff, organize his things. Etc. etc.

Okay, so it wasn't a holiday gift..but it WAS a gift (although he didn't label it as such).

I'm a organized neat freak who borderlines on OCD, haha, I couldn't stand the clutter. So in my opinion if someone is a packrat and they give me (the neat freak) the gift of cleaning up their clutter-y mess...I'd be OH SO happy!

Seriously!

And, for the record, I'd much rather be the one to clean up/organize than have Dh do it. I mean, he helped me know what was okay to get rid of...but honestly, he's not that organized and wouldn't do it up to my standard.

Sound mean? Not really. We all have our own talents/skills/hobbies...and organizing is just not one of dh's :P

But then again, I'm not that materialistic about commercial holidays. Dh and I love each other all year long. I'd prefer him not to go out and waste our money on an expensive meal or flowers that are just going to die in a week.

Mommy Vision said...

I hope you two have a great Valentine's Day :)

Good job on the pillows and I can't wait to see the "After" version of the DVD and CD collection!

Sarah from http://mommyvisionblog.blogspot.com/

Clisby said...

My husband and I don't like Valentine's Day, so we don't plan anything.

Christena, you said, "but it's like saying, "i know you like to cook, so i'm going to LET you cook for me tonight as a gift TO YOU." do you people not see how horrible that is?"

No, it's not at all like that. It's closer to saying, "I love to eat meat, but I understand that being a vegetarian is important to you, so from now on you can make all-vegetarian meals with no complaint from me."

Christena said...

If you're using the vegetarian analogy...she's still cooking for him as a gift for herself. if it was really a gift he would cook a vegetarian meal FOR her as a gift to her. he's still saying, "as a gift to you, you can cook for me." which is no gift at all.

Susan said...

Emily,
I am obsessive-compulsive and need to have everything neat. That Dan would let you organize his stuff, priceless.
My DH did the same years ago and he has been very good about keeping his stuff in 'its place.' since then. Although right now the entire buffet surface is covered with this month's bills and correspondence. I can't even see my Mom's silver case, the Fransiscan Desert Rose pitcher and bowl, or Great-Great grandparents mantel clock.
We don't go out for V-day. Never have. My dad gives me a box of chocolates and DH gives me flowers. It's just another day. Our Anniversary is the day for a celebration.

Emily said...

Christena, I don't think an analogy fits outside of an organizing one. My husband has this area where his stuff lives. He's pretty picky about it, but I'm not too fond of the set-up. He's basically letting me have his stuff my way. I honestly thought people were going to be mad because I am a control freak on this one, that they were going to say I should just leave his stuff alone.

Christena said...

i wouldn't care if you guys were just deciding this organizing stuff as a chore, but it's the fact that he gave it to you as a GIFT that gets me. he could have said "here organize my stuff for me" on any day, but somehow, because he said it on valentine's day it's gotten turned into a gift.

Gina said...

I'm going to make a crazy suggestion. Why not have a very late dinner? or maybe just go out for a late dessert just the 2 of you? Depending on whether things are open in your town, you might find there are significant less crowds at around 10-11pm. It might not work if you're with the kids, but if it's just you and the hubs it's definitely a better option.

Emily said...

Christena, I have been asking Dan for this literally for months, coming up with proposals that he would go for on how I could do it. Finally, he's given me permssion to do it however I want, and I think that is a great gift, because it is what I WANT. I can understand if it's not something someone else would want, but I am thrilled with it and have started scavenging for materials for my plan. i think the best gift is one that makes the reciever happy, and my husband did well. He also offered to buy jewelry, but I wanted to stick with the homemade Valentines.

Our Family Is His said...

If you are happy with it as a gift, no one else's opinion on it matters. They dont' want that, so their sweeties aren't giving them that. Case closed, end of story.

Jen said...

My husband and I don't go overboard for any holiday. Valentine's Day will be mostly like any other day. He might give me a card and something small, or he might not. I'm not sure, but I won't be mad or disappointed if I don't get anything. I have a wonderful husband, who shows his love for me through words and actions every day throughout the year.

I plan to make us a special dinner to eat later, after our son is in bed. My husband LOVES crab, but it's pricey. I purchased king crab legs recently, and will make a better than restaurant quality dinner for us to share together. Perfect, in my opinion.

Emily, your Valentine's Day gifts sound perfect for you and Dan. :)

connie said...

for those of you who insist that it's not a real gift since he is letting her clean:

it's not about cleaning per se

it's a space that belongs to him, that he "controls", and has kept her out of. he is letting her into his space.

that's how I see it.

Clisby said...

Our Family is His is right. I'm sure there's a woman out there who'd be thrilled if her husband surprised her with a diamond necklace on Valentine's Day. I wouldn't - generally, I don't like to wear jewelry, and specifically, I don't like diamonds. To me, it would be a complete dud of a present. Not only that, it would be a complete dud of a present that cost a lot of money while revealing that my husband was clueless about what I liked.

Happily Frugal Mama said...

We make a fun, love themed dinner at home... complete with sparkling pink lemonade in wine glasses. The kids love it!

I've found that going out to eat during holiday times (I spent many years as a waitress) is best handled during non peak times... ie, a late lunch/early dinner (3-4pm) is the least busy.

Have fun... love the pillow!

The Saved Quarter said...

My husband is taking the kids out for the day so I can sort through boxes without kid interruptions. A kid-free day to get projects done sounds great to me! (I posted about my organizing interruption yesterday on my blog - my 4 year old called me from the bathroom, yelling "I made a disaster!" and that was the end of box sorting.)

I got him and the kids cards at a party supply store mystery shop, and am baking a Valentine's day cake at home for after dinner. We're going to the movies after the kids are in bed, with Grandma watching them. I got movie passes as a Christmas gift and we're using those for a free night out. We never go out to eat on holidays because it's almost always more crowded and more expensive. I'd rather go out another night, spend less, and get better service.

Anonymous said...

We don't buy anything for each other or the kids. It is just another commercial holiday dreamed up to sell cards and diamonds. My dh shows his love for me everyday but doing little things to please me. Surprising me with a cup of tea after supper, starting and finishing the laundry etc. I think that is my true idea of romance.

Anonymous said...

Emily,
I "get" his gift to you. It's showing you how much he trusts you with his prizes and allowing you to do with them what you will. I think it's a very sweet gesture. I've read some other comments and listened to some people I know talk about their desire for real "gifts". Flowers, candies, exspensive meals and jewelry. Now, This is a made up holiday and it seems silly to me to spend so much on it. If we honor our loved ones daily; as you and Dan seem to do, then why do we need a special day for it? Why is love showen with material possessions? I think freedom of expression and absolute trust is a wonderful gift, and can't wait to see what you do with it.

Just a question though, have you ever tried heat and bond? You might want to if you have larger sewing projects and haven't gotten into your machine.
-Jackie

Anonymous said...

Hi Emily,

I had a question that I was going to add to the FAQ Fridays, but because it is topical and doesn't really require its own post, I thought I would just ask here:

Does your family follow the Olympics? I don't recall whether you have a TV or not, but I assume much of the information is readily available on the internet. It would seem like a great opportunity to start teaching children about other countries and such.

Thanks for your response!

-Angie

Anonymous said...

No, I get what Christena is saying, but in this case, I totally get the gift thing. It's like, this is your space and you want it to be a certain way and your hubby has been holding out. So there is this one area that is like a thorn in your side, more or less. Finally he says, ok, go on an fix it however you want. It feels GREAT! That would be the equivalent of my partner telling me I could redecorate the bedroom! I don't want your help, thank-you-very-much, I have my own ideas on how I want it done, now go watch the kids and LET ME AT IT!!! (LOL!)

Rachel said...

Amber, have you never picked out a gift for yourself? He asked what I wanted... I told him... he bought it.

Basham said...

Sweet ideas! It isn't what you buy or "give" its the thought that goes into it! I love that he knows you so well to give you the gift of organizing his things. Everyone's family celebrates things differently and you and your husband obviously love each other very much!

Victoria said...

Oh come on People! Dan's gift was a non gift. It lacked any thought or consideration. Two shelves to organize any way she wants??? After she was bugging him about the shelves for months? I get it. I think it is nice of him, but it should be part of a gift, not the entire gift.

Buy your sweetie a box of chocolates at least dude!

And that is why I am single!

Our Family Is His said...

Why buy chocolates? She said that fruit is her ideal gift, why chocolates? If my husband bought me chocolates, it would show he wasn't paying attention to anything I was doing or saying. This isn't a day to get a bunch of stuff. It's a day to show love. Love does not equal money being spent. People need to open their eyes and realize that. It's a day some guy made up, and now companies are profitting from it in huge ways. Men have hysterical women because roses aren't brought home (even though 364 days a year they pour love on them). Women have hurt men because they didn't cook a nice meal for the two of them (though she showers him with love 364 other days a year). We need to realize actions speak far, far, far louder than words. Abusive spouses can pony up $50 for roses. People you don't like can buy you a card. That takes nothing. That takes some green paper. It takes real work, effort, and desire to love a person all year long.

My husband, for example, did something for me yesterday that was huge in my love bank where seems many of you might have scoffed. I was getting ready to go run a few errands. He was tired. But as I was getting the kids ready to go, he said, "no, leave them here, let me take care of them while you go out." That is so loving of him because I was ready to take them because of how tired he was. Then, when I called him on the way home to see if I could pick anything up for him, he said, "stay out as long as you want, we are fine here, don't hurry back". That's loving. He knew it was a REALLY hard week for me. The boys and I have been sick, homeschooling was a chore, the boys couldn't have their therapy at all so they were totally out of whack on their schedules (which is huge with thier disabilities), it was a hard week. Sure, I was only going to Sam's and the like, but he wanted me to have some sort of break. THAT is showing love, not a card that costs $4.00 that someone else put their thoughts on and my husband takes .5 seconds to sign his name.

Christena said...

i just want to make it clear that i never said he needed to buy her anything. i agree with the made up holiday thing. we never exchange gifts. we just make a point of spending some quality time together, whether that's playing video games or cooking dinner together. he didn't need to buy her anything.

Tara said...

I just wanted to comment on the whole "it is a made up holiday" statement that many people are making.

Pope Gelasius declared Feb 14 to be the feast day of Saint Valentine in 498 AD. Long before greeting card companies and jewelry stores were around to profit off of it.

Like many Christian holidays, Valentine's day was selected from the pagan festival of Lepurcalia (a fertility festival) that was celebrated on Feb 15. Some believe that this festival was selected because it coincided with either the death or burial date of Saint Valentine in 270 AD, but there are no death records to substantiate this claim. It is more likely that this particular festival was chosen because of the tie in to love/fertility and Saint Valentine.

The Catholic Church recognizes three Saint Valentines. Each of them has a tie to love in some way. One was a priest that continued to marry young couples even though it was declared to be illegal. He was eventually martyred. The second was martyred for helping Christians escape from Roman prisons. The third is the one that is said to have sent the first "valentine" from his prison cell.

The oldest known written valentine is dated 1415. It was written by the Duke of Orleans to his wife. Pre-printed cards did not come into existance for Valentine's Day until the end of the eighteenth century. The first commercial Valentines in the US were created in 1840 by Ester Howland.

So, it was not made up "by some guy" or by the greeting card industry to make money. It was and remains a religious holiday for many people. Unfortunately, like Christmas, this holiday has become over commercialized to create revenue.

Guinevere said...

My husband and I decided not to exchange cards or gifts this year, and we aren't going out to a restaurant. We make a big deal of our anniversary, birthdays and Christmas, but Valentine's Day is such a manufactured holiday, I don't care about it much. We also go out to nice restaurants quite a lot, so I'd rather skip it on a day when everything is so crowded.

However, we're going to order Chinese take-out, cuddle up on the sofa bed and watch movies, which is a rare respite from our busy lives -- so that's enough of a romantic treat to satisfy me.

We do send flowers to our moms, though. I don't need overpriced out-of-season flowers from my hubby, but it will make them smile, so that is well worth it to me.

heather said...

i am a bit surprised at all the controversy regarding the gift to organize. i get it. my husband has his territory and it's "hands off". i may hate the way he organizes his stuff and it may be an eyesore. so to be able to redo it my way would make me happy.

but the bottom line is you are both pleased. happy valentine's day. the end.

as for us, we don't have any plans for each other. some years we give gifts or go out, sometimes we don't. right now, we have the opportunity to have a quiet kids free dinner most saturday nights. so at this point it's no biggy. and usually if we want something (within reason) we get it. other years we give gifts. this year, we mentioned that we hadn't gotten anything for each other and we were both relieved.

now i do make a point to celebrate the day with the girls. i love giving them gifts. and i embrace the fact that they are only little once and that time goes by way too fast. so any occasion to spoil them, i use.

though i must clarify, i spoil them. but i would never want spoiled brats. fortunately, they are not brats. they are both very caring, generous, etc. if they started behaving like ungrateful spoiled brats then it would no longer do my heart good, and i'd have to stop and work on that with them.

Anonymous said...

Yesterday my husband suggested we go out to breakfast. After we ate, I asked him to go with me to Wal mart for groceries. He hates to grocery shop, but agreed. turns out they were had the deli and bakery closed and were doing work. He headed over to investigate the situation, as a former Walmart controls contractor, he takes great interest in the goings on around there. Later we went to see the Blind Side. Great movie! And Ronica, you will love this, we later realized they charged us the senior price! And we are in our 40's, well on the back side anyway. After the movie we shared a mcdonalds chocolate shake.

This morning we exchanged chocolates and cards, and we had a steak dinner here at home tonight. even got the 16 year old to sit at the table with us! So it has been a great weekend!

This morning out guest speaker at church challenged us to love as Christ loves us. I thought of how I fall so short of this in so many ways. Happy Valentines day!

Diana @ frontyardfoodie said...

We never do gifts for Valentines day but always spend the day together, going out to eat dinner and usually spending the rest of the evening at home watching movies or in this case, watching the Olympics. It was wonderful as we love just spending time together.

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